Staph is No Laugh

For those of you who have not heard, I've been recuperating from an awful staph infection on the back of my leg. It's been no picnic. Apparently, staph infections are pretty serious biznac. I didn't know it, but they can be fatal. Here was my first clue: when I went to the doctor, I took off my pants and climbed aboard the cement butcher's block to be examined. She took a look at the area and gasped, actually covered her mouth, then said, "Oh, Susan....oh my God." I thought, hmmm. That may not be good.

I mean, it's not what ya want.

It had gotten pretty grisly; I thought it was a spider bite and had been trying to take care of it at home. But the center of it had turned black (about the size of a quarter) and the redness was at a fairly large spread, about the circumfrence of a softball. I'd been showing it to all the people I hate, and rubbing it on them, but it brought me only shallow joy because of all the pain I was in. My leg was completely swollen and it was extremely painful and sensitive to the touch. To walk was quite a feat, it felt like a dog had sunk his teeth into my leg and was still hanging on.

The doctor had to take action immediately: she had to give me three injections into my wound to numb it...ha...wish that part could've been numbed! After that I didn't feel much; she drained it as best she could and disinfected it, then stuck what she called a "wick" down into the open wound, which was a string of gauze drenched with antibiotic ointment. I asked if I could make myself a candle leg, and she gave me another shot!! Spiteful. After the operation, I got a shot of antibiotics right in my ass, just to get things started. When that happened, I felt extremely dizzy and nauseous, like I was about to pass out. They made me sit down and took my blood pressure, which had dropped considerably. The doctor told me I "fagled out" (I'm not sure how to spell it since I hardly know what it means), or my body responded to the stress it had been under by diminishing in strength. Anyway, after seeing all of the founding fathers on the vending machine for a few minutes, I was fine, and still numb...I got two prescriptions, one for a strong antibiotic, the other for the pain.

That was a week ago, and I'm feeling a whole world better. The wound is healing nicely, no more swelling or redness...just a hole. The gauze fell out in my sleep the other night, which it is supposed to do, but it totally freaked me out. I was going to take and include a picture of it, just to be cruel, but it is simply too disgusting. Trust me, you're better off that this is not a picture post.

Seriously though, if you ever get something similar, don't hesitate to see a doctor. I was told by my physician that if I had let this condition get any worse, I would have had to be admitted into the hospital for an I.V. antibiotic for a few days. That's kind of scary. So thanks to all the well-wishers, and if there's a lesson to all this, it's live life to the--no. Actually just try and not get a staph infection. They're really gross.